Ahhhh…Good old TINDER! Our generation’s way of attaining instant gratification and acceptance from the opposite sex. After spending countless hours on this app, I found myself wondering which guy on my list of matches was going to work up the courage to message me. Apparently, 7 out of 39 matches took the plunge. Only 3 made it past the initial pick up line.
Tinder Surprise #1: 24,Entrepreneur/Financial Advisor, Reminds me of Ferris Bueller
This is the guy your father wants you to stay away from and your mother can’t get enough of. The charmer and the panty dropper. He not only looks like the boy-next-door, but also talks like the man candy God in your 50 Shades fantasy. Your typical finance bloke; works hard, plays hard, fucks you the hardest.
Tinder Surprise #2: 27, Pro Golfer, Straight from the burbs
This is the guy you meet a bar when he’s hanging out with his buddies. He doesn’t really stand out at much, but you know there is something about him that you can’t quite put your finger on. Is that turd I smell covered in cologne? He’s the guy that drives a fancy car and lives in his parents home in the suburbs, while owning a condo in Florida, but you never really understand how he affords to do it with his athlete stats once you’ve Googled him.
Tinder Surprise #3: 29, Eastern European, Hipster (Oh, I went there)
This is the stone-washed skinny jeans wearing fellow that takes you to a grungy, dirty bar on a nice summer evening. As soon as you walk in, you immediately regret wearing your wedges and your cute floral dress with pockets! This is the guy that thinks he’s too cool to care about current events and would much prefer if you shut up and listened to him speak about his first time getting high. He’s also the guy that buys you the $3 pint and orders you to get the next round.
As you can see, I’ve judged, labelled and categorized my Tinder Eggs, but the bag of tricks hidden in each one definitely caught me by surprise!